Welcome to my website. It was entirely designed by myself and it is due to my complete lack of imagination and technical expertise that you are now probably having trouble finding your way around it.

That god like beauty you saw on the last page is the conjuring of a computer programme which was designed to combine all the finest aesthetic attributes of the human race. Even an airbrushed version of me doesn’t look even slightly like that –tis a shame. If that rare beauty was me though I have grown a lot of hair since that picture was taken. Unfortunately I have lost nearly all of it as well as my near vision and my good sense. I have also driven my mother to distraction, -I am told.

I designed this site myself in 1973, all of which showed remarkable foresight and precocious ability on my part [good man myself]. I have lost any element of genius, vision, or insightfulness I had since then and I am keeping this design (outdated though it is) out of pure sentimentality –senility, another sign of my old age.

I still think this website is marvellous though and I daar-ya to say otherwise.